بلادى

توحشتك يا بلادي... يا بلاد احبابي
لعب بيك الدهر وخلاك جروح ودم
سلاح ورصاص صبحو هما حكامك
و ما عاد فيك حاجة زي ما كانت
متغرب عنك وبعيد عليك
زايدة الوحشة في قلبي وزايد همى
ما حد في يوم يحساب ترابك يشهد حرب
ويوقف الجار قدام الجار
يلعن هالسلطة وهالفلووس
اللي تخلي الناس تنشرى وتنباع
حالك يا بلادي ما هو حال
وربك يستر شين مازال

My Heart is crying Blood

This and That

So, we finally reached 2011. Wow, time is running. This is something that everyone says once in a while, but we only recognize the meaning it certain things. Kids starting school and they were just playing in diapers. A study finished and you still remember the day it started. There are lots of examples. On the other hand, there are some moments, when you are looking forward to something you feel that the time is not going fast enough, your exams don't want to end, your vacation is still far away.

I am writing without a real purpose, i am just putting some thoughts into words. Today is already the second day of the new year, and lots of people speak about their plans for the new year, i am planning to ........, but i don't like the idea of starting it at the beginning of the year, does this mean that in the middle of the year, if i am not the person i want to be, i should continue my way till i reach the end of the year and then plan to change? There should be a beginning in every day. However, plans are not something wrong, they are not accomplished in one day anyway. Change take time, it will not come on the first of January.

I think that it is for now.
I wish everyone of you a pleasant and nice and peaceful 2011.

Descisions for Life

I have been away for awhile, and i think that everybody got used to this, but i am really always intending to blog and post, and i never find the time to do it. It seems to me that don't have time for breathing.
Anyway, i was thinking about decisions that people are making for their life, why are they so important? What type of decisions are so important in life??
Choosing the right partner? I think this is one of the most important decisions in life, choosing the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, share dreams, share happiness and sadness, raise children together and depend on each other. So, if there is someone you are thinking to marry, you have to ask yourself a lot of serious questions, and try to answer them to know your decision. It is not a heart decision, it is a minds decision, feelings have to get out of the equation.
The other difficult decisions are regarding the study and job you are going to take. Are you interested in this field of study, what is the job you want to do, can you do it? do you have a chance to get it, can you start your own thing, is this all worth it?
Right now am i asking my self is this all worth it?? The energy and time spending on study or work if you don't have to do it? Is it all worth it, Men don't have a choice, they have to work, and in many cases they are not in the position to actually choose their favorite job, but a lot of women have the choice, leave out the women that work to help their husbands, speak about woman who work for their own sake, what does own sake mean? To have more money? to fulfill own dreams? How does this decision effect her own life? is she going to be under stress or is she going to feel happier? How does this decision effect her children? Her family and house?

The good thing, you can always quit, start again and try it? The answer for all of these questions vary from woman to woman. Everyone has his own priorities and based on that the answers will be different. Anyway, good luck for those who work, those who don't want to work, those who are thinking about work, and those who are looking for work.
And Koll 3am and everyone bekheir.

Addicted to electronics

I don't know if it is good or bad to be intesrested in all these high tech stuff that comes out week after week and month after month in all fields, new phone (smart of course), new electronic book reader, new 3D TV, new laptop, etc......

People are saying they don't have any time any more to do things, and i think i know why, lets watch TV just a bit, oh i haven't checked my mail yet, i have some sms that i have to send, and by the way sms are free, you get so many deals and things to do and at the end you say why are the hours just passing by and why am i not spending enough time with my family and friends.

On the other hand, we are not used anymore to entertain ourselves, play a family game, doing some things without electricity, imagine you don't have electricity for one week, i think everyone will go crazy.

Even when i try to keep my self limited with the computer or the phone i find myself spent hours with0ut having any benefit, oh and don't forget the lack of physical activity, you can do everything right now from your cell or laptop, shopping, banking, paying bills and lots of things more, you don't have to go out anymore and waste your time in the croud outside, or waiting for your turn at the line.

I thought they clame that they are saving time not wasting it.

Libyan University Standards

I know.... I know.. It has been a while since i last posted something.

However, in my mind, there are many posts coming and going, i am doing something, and i start preparing the next post, but it never reaches the keyboard. I feel the time just slipping like water through my fingers without anything effective being done.

But the topic of this post is not a new topic, i wanted to write about it for a long time now. It is not affecting me only, it is affecting all libyan students and graduates trying to get admitted to good universities abroad.

Especially those fields which does not require an exam to enter a University such as Science, Engineering or Law, you apply, do your language exam, send your transcripts, your graduation Certificate, and if you are very lucky your are amongst the ones who got over 80% at your graduation. Although i doubt that there are lots of libyans students who get this high scores. And this is the point. The way of grading the students in Libya is really more than unfair. I have taken graduate courses here in Canada, and i was very surprised at the grades they are giving, without being close to perfect your just get an A which is a very good. And it was not just any university or any course, but there in Libya, the professors are enjoying having the power to push the students down. to show them how powerful they are. this takes the chance from so many students abroad who are trying to get admitted at universities. Since the lowest grade acceptable here is 75%, and if you have this 75% and there are 5000 students applying, with only 300 positions available, who will look at your 75% if there are 3000 with more than 85%.

Here if they see that you are doing an effort, working, researching, thinking they will give you a good grade, but there, you can kill yourself learning, working, reading, it will not help.

Oh God, everyone of us will remember his professors, which are alone far from being perfect, and i doubt that one of them will be able to answer the exam questions in the short time they are giving us, oh, if they are kind, it is an open book exam, and then forget about trying to answer at all. Or the other professor who missed 95% of his lectures that semester, and only gave us 2, and then at the end he did only one exam, with all the subjects there the time was not even enough if it was the double and laughed and said "inshalla ennaja7kom""

Oh, good, i know so many students here trying to get access, and they are not able because of the low grades, and i am thinking 7asby Allah wa ne3m al wakeel on everyone who was putting his students down for fun, just to feel his power, on every professor who didn't care to do his job and at the end gave his students bad marks, in stead of encouraging your students your just kill every chance for them to enhance their selves.

Libyan Food

I wanted to write about Libyan food forever, but not because i want to see or put recepies, I wanted to learn as much as possible about Libyan food.
As I discovered a love for cooking, I am interested in knowing more details about what ever I can get about libyan food.
But let me start from the beginning, as the Libyans are dividing themselves into groups according to their origin, Tripoli, Benghazi, Zwara, etc. also the food is different sometimes, and sometimes if you don't know someone from the other city you don't know certain types of food, especially if you are not interested in looking outside the box.
In Tripoli the main dishes are (kosksi, reshtat borma, keskas, dolma, mbatten, and many other dishes), then of course you have Bazeen and there is a fight among the different cities, which one does the best one. Then the so called Borma in Tripoli is called Mgataa in other places. Another nice dish is Ftat, el Jbalia are known for it. In Benghazi there is Mathroda and believe it or not, i have just heard about this dish 2 weeks ago, and i have never tried it before, but i will do my best to get it from somewhere. These were the main dishes, there are some other kinds of foods, like 3aseeda, Zomeeta, bseesa, Gsab (sa7leb).
The interesting thing is that the ingredients are almost the same, but there are small differences in the way of cooking amongst families. As you know, common thing here to say is Family xx does the mbaten in oil only, but family yy put it in the oven after frying it. It is nice and interesting, therefore i always like to ask several people, especially the older ones about their way of doing a dish. You can find some interesting information.
As i am trying to make most of this dishes in Canada, there are somethings missing there, and somethings taste differently, but i never miss taking my spices with me from here, i remember a post about the smell of libyan food, and yes, the food smell strongly, but!!!!! without them it is not even half as good. It is true that i don't like to leave the house while cooking, because i know that all my clothes are smelling, but at the same time i would never leave the hrarat out if i cook bosla. (It is the main ingredient for me)
I learned about these spices, their mixture, how they are done, and the other interesting thing i learned about was fish. For the first time in my life i went to see the fish market, so many kinds of fish, and the seller explains what they are, for what best to use them, he was a nice old man and you can see that he knows what he is speaking about. It was nice for me to see people not giving up their proficiency, it is important to have these people, their knowledge because they are a big part of our culture, it is not the cars and the houses. The smell of fresh fish, but as well the smell of fresh vegetables here is great. I cannot remember having the same smell in Canada, it is the smell of my childhood.
I will continue to discover everything about our food, as long as I am here, and I will try to teach my kids how to love our food as well, and by the way, I have heard about a libyan restaurant over there in Canada.
I would love to post pictures as well of some dishes and the fish market, but my camera is not working so i was not able to make any.

new way of living

For someone who is not permanently living in Libya, and who is coming for a visit once a year, it is easy to follow small changes that are happening here.
Out of interest i am trying to figure out what i have been missing since my last visit. And there it is again, another visit, observations, listening to people and trying to understand the new changes.
Interesting are two signs on the streets, one for abused women, which seems to be a program for women beaten by their families, and the other one is a hotline for abused children. I would like to try and call this hotline to see if there is actually someone picking up the phone and offering help. But let's be realistic, Libyan life is based on what other people think and say about you, so many things are done and not done because of what others may think and say, a girl coming home late (after moghreb) is not good, what will the neighbors think, the possibility that she is working in a hospital or taking a course is not important. People who barely can afford the daily expensses of kids and house and food, have to borrow money or enter Jam3ya to buy that good (Saloon) so that when guest are coming to their house they don't say that their house is missing something. There is so much pressure and stress put on people here from outside they cannot live and enjoy their life just normally.
Another thing that really is disturbing me right now is the everyday show of cars, gold, houses, mobiles and money. People are mainly not defined anymore by what they are, smart, kind, honest, nice. No, what defines them is what car they are driving, how much they are earning, what mobile they are using and where they are living. It is sad to see how people look at and follow "the rich" people. Girls dream about a husband with money, big car and a big house, (i am not saying this is completely wrong, but the regular guy who doesn't have everything ready, but who would do anything to support his family is much better that someone who has everything and more, but doesn't care about his house, wife, family or kids) the priorities are more and more wrong defined.
Not to mention the Libyan driving, no respect for each others, if people just have some respect for each other and think like muslims and be patient or sometimes give the priority to some one else, the streets would be much safer and faster. You drive along a wide street with three lanes and you wonder why it is sooo crowded, then at the end you see it, there is a groccery shop or a another kind of shop so people are parking infront of it, and when the first lane is fully parked people just easily block the traffic and park in the second lane. just toooo lazy to walk just some additional steps.
I am sad to see all of this, i want to see it much better, i want to see traffic getting more organized, people helping each other and people not judging about others. And i am not saying this because i am thinking i am better, i am as well one of them as all are, i just have a Libyan dream.

Marwa's murderer got a life sentence

Finally, today in Germany the murderer for Mawra El Sharbini got a life sentence.
For those you haven't read or heard about her, it is a pregnant lady from Egypt who got killed in a German courthouse because of her being a Muslim and wearing the Hijab. The Judge said that this guy said that he feels that the immigrants are taking his job opportunities, and he denies the fact that he is an immigrant as well from Russia, and that he is not a German.

However, this will not bring the wife and the mother of a 3 year old back, but it will give a little bit of satisfaction to the family.

The reason why this happened in my view is all the bad news about Muslims all over the world, what you hear is killing, killing and killing. And no doubt that people get afraid and hate what they don't really know and only know from bad news.

I am fed up saying that I want to be a good example for the Muslims, because I don't want us to be in the position of setting an example at all, I just want to live normally the way I life without thinking that the others may take a good or a bad idea. I don't harm anyone, I don't hurt anyone, I just want to live, raise my kids, study or work or whatever and be in peace.

Picture source

http://merryabla64.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/marwas20family_preview.jpg

Long time....

It has been a long time now, and it is time to end my vacation from blogging. But whenever i sit and think i should write now i start searching for something interesting to share that is worth reading.

Yalla, here the no. 1 news is the H1N1 shot that has started two weeks ago and with it the question should we or not?? everyone is asking the same question. But the clinics are more than full, hundreds of people every day. Side effects?? i think in the last month thousands of people have been vaccinated, so there should be enough time for the side effects to show up, and in regards to (on the long run) people smoke, eat junk food, don't do sports and live in too much stress. And all of this has a big effect on the long run, so what is the difference??

Do we need this shot?? the doctors say yes.

Do we have a choice?? Yes, for sure.

Can we live with bad consequences ( Allahum ohfodna)?? NOO

and at the end it is everyones own decision.

Advice, buy the alcohol sanitizer and use it as often as you can in public places especially when yo touch hard surfaces, (the virus can live several hours on hard surfaces) and wash your hands as soon as you get into the house. This is the least we can do to prevent the flu.

Food in Ramadan

One of the things that comes into mind with Ramadan is food. Everyone is dreaming of that soup (sherba) and all of the great libyan and not libyan dishes, (boreek, mbatten, osban, pizza, dolma, etc. ) Especially that in a way they taste even better in Ramadan.

Now i am feeling more than full, i have been eating so much today, but not because i wanted to, i have seen a program about people not able to buy even bones to cook with them, they are sharing a small peace of cheese with their kids, and many many other cases. This is the reason why i am trying not to through away any type of food. Normally i have a difficulty during the first days of Ramadan finding the right amount of food to cook, i need 3 or 4 days to be able to cook the exact amount that we need, and then i almost don't have any kind of left overs.

I hope all of you deal the same way with food, i have heard a comment of another liban lady the other day, (God will ask as for all the food that we are throeing away)

Very late, but my best wishes for Ramadan for all of you.

Islamic swim and sports wear

I know that it has been a while since my last post, i have been very busy with the kids lately.

However, yesterday as i was (as usual) googling around i thought about looking for Islamic clothing, since it is sometimes difficult to get something good looking to wear for me here in Canada ( i mean for Hijab) Here you find everything but you need to search for things you can wear with Hijab. And i came across the Muslima swimwear, it claims to be the swimwear for the active muslima.

I found several websites for several companies offering the swimwear online all over the World. The question is who wears them? I am not sure if it would so easy to wear them and walk along the beach, the people will look more at you in this way. And i am speaking about outside of the Arabic countries. However, it is a nice idea to be able to wear something like this if you have the courage to face the peoples curious looks and questions.

The picture shown is from the website ahiida, from australia for sports and swimwear.

What is the best recipe??

When the children come into the age where they are continuously trying to test their limits, the parents will have a hard time. The behavior of the child varies, from screaming to kicking to hitting. Suddenly the toothless baby who was used to send smiles all over the place and captured the hearts of those around is showing his teeth and hides his smile behind bad actions.

Then the question come up: now what?? How to respond?? how to control and show him what is wrong and right? What are the best tips??

Especially with the first child, the parents are learning as well how to be parents, knowing that every decision they make will effect their child's life forever (sounds serious!!!), actually it is.

I have been looking around in books and online, talking to people i know to find the best advice, and i have heard many things some where logical, some where scary and unbelievable.

Scaring with the (doggy who will come and eat you) or scaring with (hot pepper on the tongue) or scaring with ( something hot like a candle) are somethings that i was surprised that people are using. Hitting is common although some families completely refuse this methods while others say: we cannot control our kids without it.

Another new way, many learned it from "Super Nanny" is putting them on time out for some minutes. This sounds as the best method for me if the child is actually following and staying in the time out, but if not it is useless. Another method is taking his favourite toy away to show him that what he has done is wrong.

Now after all of these tips i am trying my luck with time outs and taking the toys away. Currently i am trying to ignore the actions that are intended to get my attention to let him know that he is not getting it in this way, i will see. In one of the online forums i found the following advice: Be positive, never negative. Be nice but strict. Try to give him attention and spend quality time with your child. It will take some time but you will reach there.

I am trying to see which is the best for my child and i hope he will be easier to deal with.

Talent show!!!!!!!

Some days ago i came across the Name (Susan Boyle) in the news and i was wondering. A new talent in the famous show (Britain got talent). An older lady who amazed the jury and the people with her singing talent, she seams a little bit weird but she is a great singer. Her video on you tube has been watched million times so i took a look as well.

The video reminded me of another talent from the same show, (Paul Potts), exaclty the same story, he looks different that the normal and seems very shy, people and jury thought he is in the wrong place at the beginning but then he started singing and !!!!!!!!!!

First, i want to say that both are great singers but my whole point about this post is ( is it really true or is it show business? Are they really just regular people who suddenly decided to participate in such a show or are they well prepared and put in as shy or weird to get the people's attention?? They might be singers who didn't get very famous and they are using them to get more money from the show.

Why isn't it possible for me to just believe it??

The links for both auditions are below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z0h1NNk1Ik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCqzmVHS2RQ

Living abroad

I have been now abroad for a few years, and i figured out that there are some advantages and disadvantages, but it has to be mentioned that everyone has his own view about this.

Missing family and friends is one major issue with being abroad especially when you live very far away and it takes more than one plane to reach Libya. For example, when one of us needs some help, for example being sick, moving away there is always someone there to help you out.

Till now i was not able to make good friends whom i can ask for help in such cases, therefore if i need help i have to pay someone strange 10-15 dollars per hour to help me out. On the other hand if i live in Libya i will get overwhelmed with helpers and visitors in such cases as being sick or so. It is the opposite, sometimes you are looking for some rest but you have to be prepared for all kind of visitors. Again this depends on the person, some people like it to have lots of people around them.

Picture source: http://www.stepbystepimmigrationcanada.com/live-abroad.jpg

Spring time

Finally it is spring again. 

Due to some things to do i am not really able to enjoy the spring outside and i am really feeling sorry for that. But i am happy that it is finally blue, green and brown outside, instead of white, black, grey and grey and grey outside.

This year the first snow fell back in october, which is considered to be very early and till now there is some snow on the streets and even in our backyard which didn't melt yet. Overall, we lived in winter for almost 6 months. 

Finally it is time for picnics, grilling in the backyard, playing ball in the backyard with the little one or going to the playground cross the street with him.

And it will not take long and you will find tulips everywhere, in the streets, shops and gardens. 

Moreover, the wonderful smell of grass and sun that is filling the air, i can open the windows without feeling cold to let the fresh air inside the house.

I was not able to go out this weekend but i don't have any doubt that the parks are full of people enjoying the first days of spring here. I like it how the people here appreciate the nice weather and the free time to do activities instead of staying in the houses and watching TV. They are working the whole week and not able to do anything, and hence they are using every free minute they have on the weekend.

Picture source: http://www.cns-snc.ca/CNS_Conferences/waste_05/waste2005_main.html

The face book era!!!!

When did you come a cross facebook?

I think i first heard about it one and half years ago when i started my grad studies at the university. Some fellow students made a presentation about the new Internet. So i signed up to check it out but to be honest i didn't like it, i cancelled my account and didn't activate again.

One of the things that scared me is that they will keep my email address forever, so that if i decide to sign up for a new account and i use the same email after 6 years they will just say welcome back.

What else is facebook??
Facebook is a way to spy on your friends, what they do, who their Friends are, the more you put on your facebook account the less privacy you will have.
I admit that i am taking a look from time to time to some friend's account, this is the reason why i know somethings about it but the more i see the less i like it, all the new applications that you can add, all the information you can put to others. I liked what our professor said, now you are happy with it putting all the pictures and the information available to everyone, and in some years when you want to apply for a job your boss will check facebook and find some stuff he doesn't like and you will not get the job. He told us to be very careful with the information we upload, we have to read the privacy policies especially for such things as private pictures.

One advice, do not follow every new trend, some of them are taking more than they are giving.

Obama's airplane!!!!!

You might think now what does this mean? Obama's airplane!!!!


OK, i will start from the beginning. I am not that into politics, i don`t understand a lot of it and i am not interested in doing that. I don`t know a lot about what is going on in the news, but sometimes things come sooooo close that you are forced to face them.


Ok, Obama is the new president of the U.S., and i have to say that i don`t think that this will mean a big change to the world politics, but let`s be open and see what will come.


However, i was not infected by the so called ¨Obamamania¨ and therefore i didn't ake a big deal about Obama coming to visit Canada. In the news you were able to read that people were waiting for him in the streets in the snowy cold weather, you would read about several plans that he had here and that his trip was very short, only half a day.


We didn't plan to go out on that day, but we had to drop someone at the airport so we left about 4. We felt that the air was full of helicopters and i mentioned to my Husband that this might be because of Obama, although we thought that he had already left the country, and when we tried to reach the airport we found all streets closed. Obama was on his way to the airport. We went home and tried it again after 30 min.


When we finally reached the airport and we drove along the ramp to the departures there were some cars stopping just on the street and we almost run into them. Then we looked for the reason and we found it, sooo huge, sooo American, it was Obama's plane, we were soooo close to it, we could have stopped as well and kept on watching, but as i mentioned, we are not infected.


Why am i writing all this?? i don't know, it made me think. And it was weired at the same time.

picture source http://www.ottawacitizen.com/Photo+Gallery+Obama+Ottawa/1306028/story.html

Eating Outside

I don't know what is soo good in eating outside, is it the different taste to the usual home made food?
For a woman i would understand that she is enjoying not standing in the kitchen from time to time, some woman don't like to eat their own food. But for men?? normally the food at home should be their favourite because it is made like they want.
The question is why am i brining up this topic?? i am in libya for a visit, and in fact i am missing libyan fast food, libyan pizza, libyan shawerma and hamburger. But!!!!!!!!! I don't have any trust any more in any of the food shops. Normally they say the man know the good places, but eventhough my brother is bringing food from the so called clean places, i don't like it anymore.
Here, it became a trend to try the different restaurants. There are even real restaurants opening, nice locations, nice atmosphere, they say even nice food. But!!!! the question is not only is the food clean? Are the dishes and glasses clean? You are drinking from a glass that might be not properly cleaned, and too many deseases are spread.
I feel sorry, because we are an islamic country and being clean should be one of the main characteristics of muslims, why is there no trust??

صغيري

أحيانا أنظر إليك وأتساءل...

ماذا ستصبح؟؟ ماذا ستعمل؟؟ كيف ستعيش؟؟

عيونك المليئة بالفضول تشير الى مستقبل مجهول..

ياترى هل سأكون جزءا منه؟؟ هل يكتب لي أن أرى فرحة نجاحك؟؟

هل أحضنك يوم زواجك؟؟ وهل العب مع احفادي كما العب معك اليوم؟؟

 كيف يتحول الحب الى الم يعصر القلب؟

اللهم اعني على حمايته ورعايته

الدنيا تلهث ونحن وراءها لتقف فجأة أمام قدميك الصغيرتين..

فلا يهمك الصباح والمساء.. ولا تعني عقارب الساعة لك شيئا

عش حبيبي وقتك اللامنتهي.. فستكبر يوما ويبدأ الزمان

كم من لحظة تمر اتمنى حفظها في ذاكرة التاريخ..

كي أرجع اليها يوما لابتسم واقول..

لقد كنت يوما اقاسمك الحياة..

وها انا ذا اجهز اجنحتك اللصغيرة لتطير يوما بعيدا عني..