new way of living

For someone who is not permanently living in Libya, and who is coming for a visit once a year, it is easy to follow small changes that are happening here.
Out of interest i am trying to figure out what i have been missing since my last visit. And there it is again, another visit, observations, listening to people and trying to understand the new changes.
Interesting are two signs on the streets, one for abused women, which seems to be a program for women beaten by their families, and the other one is a hotline for abused children. I would like to try and call this hotline to see if there is actually someone picking up the phone and offering help. But let's be realistic, Libyan life is based on what other people think and say about you, so many things are done and not done because of what others may think and say, a girl coming home late (after moghreb) is not good, what will the neighbors think, the possibility that she is working in a hospital or taking a course is not important. People who barely can afford the daily expensses of kids and house and food, have to borrow money or enter Jam3ya to buy that good (Saloon) so that when guest are coming to their house they don't say that their house is missing something. There is so much pressure and stress put on people here from outside they cannot live and enjoy their life just normally.
Another thing that really is disturbing me right now is the everyday show of cars, gold, houses, mobiles and money. People are mainly not defined anymore by what they are, smart, kind, honest, nice. No, what defines them is what car they are driving, how much they are earning, what mobile they are using and where they are living. It is sad to see how people look at and follow "the rich" people. Girls dream about a husband with money, big car and a big house, (i am not saying this is completely wrong, but the regular guy who doesn't have everything ready, but who would do anything to support his family is much better that someone who has everything and more, but doesn't care about his house, wife, family or kids) the priorities are more and more wrong defined.
Not to mention the Libyan driving, no respect for each others, if people just have some respect for each other and think like muslims and be patient or sometimes give the priority to some one else, the streets would be much safer and faster. You drive along a wide street with three lanes and you wonder why it is sooo crowded, then at the end you see it, there is a groccery shop or a another kind of shop so people are parking infront of it, and when the first lane is fully parked people just easily block the traffic and park in the second lane. just toooo lazy to walk just some additional steps.
I am sad to see all of this, i want to see it much better, i want to see traffic getting more organized, people helping each other and people not judging about others. And i am not saying this because i am thinking i am better, i am as well one of them as all are, i just have a Libyan dream.

Marwa's murderer got a life sentence

Finally, today in Germany the murderer for Mawra El Sharbini got a life sentence.
For those you haven't read or heard about her, it is a pregnant lady from Egypt who got killed in a German courthouse because of her being a Muslim and wearing the Hijab. The Judge said that this guy said that he feels that the immigrants are taking his job opportunities, and he denies the fact that he is an immigrant as well from Russia, and that he is not a German.

However, this will not bring the wife and the mother of a 3 year old back, but it will give a little bit of satisfaction to the family.

The reason why this happened in my view is all the bad news about Muslims all over the world, what you hear is killing, killing and killing. And no doubt that people get afraid and hate what they don't really know and only know from bad news.

I am fed up saying that I want to be a good example for the Muslims, because I don't want us to be in the position of setting an example at all, I just want to live normally the way I life without thinking that the others may take a good or a bad idea. I don't harm anyone, I don't hurt anyone, I just want to live, raise my kids, study or work or whatever and be in peace.

Picture source

http://merryabla64.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/marwas20family_preview.jpg

Long time....

It has been a long time now, and it is time to end my vacation from blogging. But whenever i sit and think i should write now i start searching for something interesting to share that is worth reading.

Yalla, here the no. 1 news is the H1N1 shot that has started two weeks ago and with it the question should we or not?? everyone is asking the same question. But the clinics are more than full, hundreds of people every day. Side effects?? i think in the last month thousands of people have been vaccinated, so there should be enough time for the side effects to show up, and in regards to (on the long run) people smoke, eat junk food, don't do sports and live in too much stress. And all of this has a big effect on the long run, so what is the difference??

Do we need this shot?? the doctors say yes.

Do we have a choice?? Yes, for sure.

Can we live with bad consequences ( Allahum ohfodna)?? NOO

and at the end it is everyones own decision.

Advice, buy the alcohol sanitizer and use it as often as you can in public places especially when yo touch hard surfaces, (the virus can live several hours on hard surfaces) and wash your hands as soon as you get into the house. This is the least we can do to prevent the flu.

Food in Ramadan

One of the things that comes into mind with Ramadan is food. Everyone is dreaming of that soup (sherba) and all of the great libyan and not libyan dishes, (boreek, mbatten, osban, pizza, dolma, etc. ) Especially that in a way they taste even better in Ramadan.

Now i am feeling more than full, i have been eating so much today, but not because i wanted to, i have seen a program about people not able to buy even bones to cook with them, they are sharing a small peace of cheese with their kids, and many many other cases. This is the reason why i am trying not to through away any type of food. Normally i have a difficulty during the first days of Ramadan finding the right amount of food to cook, i need 3 or 4 days to be able to cook the exact amount that we need, and then i almost don't have any kind of left overs.

I hope all of you deal the same way with food, i have heard a comment of another liban lady the other day, (God will ask as for all the food that we are throeing away)

Very late, but my best wishes for Ramadan for all of you.

Islamic swim and sports wear

I know that it has been a while since my last post, i have been very busy with the kids lately.

However, yesterday as i was (as usual) googling around i thought about looking for Islamic clothing, since it is sometimes difficult to get something good looking to wear for me here in Canada ( i mean for Hijab) Here you find everything but you need to search for things you can wear with Hijab. And i came across the Muslima swimwear, it claims to be the swimwear for the active muslima.

I found several websites for several companies offering the swimwear online all over the World. The question is who wears them? I am not sure if it would so easy to wear them and walk along the beach, the people will look more at you in this way. And i am speaking about outside of the Arabic countries. However, it is a nice idea to be able to wear something like this if you have the courage to face the peoples curious looks and questions.

The picture shown is from the website ahiida, from australia for sports and swimwear.

What is the best recipe??

When the children come into the age where they are continuously trying to test their limits, the parents will have a hard time. The behavior of the child varies, from screaming to kicking to hitting. Suddenly the toothless baby who was used to send smiles all over the place and captured the hearts of those around is showing his teeth and hides his smile behind bad actions.

Then the question come up: now what?? How to respond?? how to control and show him what is wrong and right? What are the best tips??

Especially with the first child, the parents are learning as well how to be parents, knowing that every decision they make will effect their child's life forever (sounds serious!!!), actually it is.

I have been looking around in books and online, talking to people i know to find the best advice, and i have heard many things some where logical, some where scary and unbelievable.

Scaring with the (doggy who will come and eat you) or scaring with (hot pepper on the tongue) or scaring with ( something hot like a candle) are somethings that i was surprised that people are using. Hitting is common although some families completely refuse this methods while others say: we cannot control our kids without it.

Another new way, many learned it from "Super Nanny" is putting them on time out for some minutes. This sounds as the best method for me if the child is actually following and staying in the time out, but if not it is useless. Another method is taking his favourite toy away to show him that what he has done is wrong.

Now after all of these tips i am trying my luck with time outs and taking the toys away. Currently i am trying to ignore the actions that are intended to get my attention to let him know that he is not getting it in this way, i will see. In one of the online forums i found the following advice: Be positive, never negative. Be nice but strict. Try to give him attention and spend quality time with your child. It will take some time but you will reach there.

I am trying to see which is the best for my child and i hope he will be easier to deal with.

Talent show!!!!!!!

Some days ago i came across the Name (Susan Boyle) in the news and i was wondering. A new talent in the famous show (Britain got talent). An older lady who amazed the jury and the people with her singing talent, she seams a little bit weird but she is a great singer. Her video on you tube has been watched million times so i took a look as well.

The video reminded me of another talent from the same show, (Paul Potts), exaclty the same story, he looks different that the normal and seems very shy, people and jury thought he is in the wrong place at the beginning but then he started singing and !!!!!!!!!!

First, i want to say that both are great singers but my whole point about this post is ( is it really true or is it show business? Are they really just regular people who suddenly decided to participate in such a show or are they well prepared and put in as shy or weird to get the people's attention?? They might be singers who didn't get very famous and they are using them to get more money from the show.

Why isn't it possible for me to just believe it??

The links for both auditions are below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z0h1NNk1Ik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCqzmVHS2RQ